I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
