I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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