I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
