Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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