whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My dick has a subreddit
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
