Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
