I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
