Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
