Im at strip club and am horny
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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