I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
