My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
