Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got chris browned last night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
