6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
