I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
