so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
