am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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