if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize