I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
