hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Randomize
