Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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