i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
