i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize