wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
