we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
