i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
