Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
