i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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