dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
