There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
