I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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