Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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