you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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