My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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