Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it's like heaven, but drunker
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
