For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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