I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize