dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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