found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
