if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
