No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
