It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
