Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
