I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
