Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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