I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
