Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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