Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We talked him into tasing himself.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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