Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
