brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Your tits are I can't wait for
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize