I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
