Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize