I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have post one night stand depression
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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