i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This is not my ceiling
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
