6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
