I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
