I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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