The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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