i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
