How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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