I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
