You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
