Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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