It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
