i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
